Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Reminder About Grieving...

This week, I received a touching email from a young friend who had remembered that the anniversary of my husband's death is approaching.

She has given me permission to share part of that email with you as a reminder that what we do teaches healthy grieving as much as, or more than, what we say.

"...on the topic of how we learn to not talk about and express our grief: one thing that I think is so cool about you and about being at your house/with you, is how it's totally ok to talk about derrick anytime. it's never a hush hush subject or something that shouldn't be brought up, just in case somebody gets sad. in the middle of breakfast or in the car or whenever, it's ok to just suddenly laugh or cry or just talk about derrick and something that he would have liked or something he did, or whatever. i think that's really cool. your home has always been a safe place for all kinds of emotions, and i like that that holds true for any emotion having to do with derrick, even though it may be difficult to talk about.

i think that's really cool and healthy ... thank you."

At a time when we still seem so afraid of death that we can't even say the word comfortably, (- he passed, she passed on, he passed away -), it's good to know that an effort to break the "don't grieve" rule with which I grew up, and to provide the young people in my life with support for healthy grieving, has borne fruit. I will take my young friend's email to heart and will continue to try to "walk the walk" as well as talking the talk.

(Photo by BigStock Photos)

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