Whose Choice ...?

Last weekend I wrote a post about a CBC radio series on assisted suicide. Today, CBC's White Coat, Black Art, broadcast the final installment of that series on Nagui Morcos. Here is the description of that episode:

This week, the final installment in our series on Nagui Morcos. 

Nagui first came on White coat, Black Art in 2011.  He told 

us of his intention to take his own life before Huntington's disease

robbed him of the ability to act on his own, as Canadian laws

require. Morcos had watched his father die an agonizing death

due to Huntington's. His choice reignited the debate over 

assisted suicide in Canada, and his story moved many, many

 people. Last week we aired part one of Nagui's Choice. 

Now, Brian takes us through Nagui's final days and hours with

the help of his wife, Jan Crowley and Meg Westley, the president of 

Dying With Dignity Canada, both of whom were present that day.

Again, I hope you will take time to listen to this sensitive rendering of Nagui Morcos and Jan Crowley's story, regardless your feelings about assisted suicide. The only way we can improve the range of life choices for people on the edge of life (and the family caregivers who support them) is to listen deeply to their experience and to engage in compassionate dialogue about the issue of assisted suicide.

You can read Dr Brian Goldman's final thoughts on this beautifully-produced series, and on his relationship with Nagui, in his blog post: Nagui's Choice: the Final Chapter - Dr Brian's Thoughts.

Whose Life ...?

I was driving home from the farmers market this sunny Saturday morning when CBC's White Coat, Black Art  came on the radio. With a synchronicity that made me gasp, I heard Brian Goldman announce that the topic of today's, and next week's, special broadcast was Nagui's Choice,  the story of Nagui Morcos' difficult decision to end his life before he died naturally of the Huntingtons Disease that had also claimed his parents' marriage and his father's life years before. As one of his father's caregivers, he knew what lay ahead and he determined not to die in the same way.

What made me catch my breath as I heard the broadcast introduced was the fact that today is the anniversary of my husband's refusal to take further life-saving medication in order to allow his heart failure to "take its natural course". His death, three week's later, was a more passive ending than Nagui's but still a deeply considered and much grieved choice to let go of life.

While hearing Nagui's dignified responses to the interview questions was profoundly intimate and moving, it was his partner, Jan's, description of her process of letting go that broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

I had experienced those same achingly bittersweet moments of shared love and appreciation as our days together counted down. I had wept through the same process of grief and letting go - again and again and yet again - as the time of Derrick's death approached. But I hadn't had to watch as my husband ended his life earlier than necessary because the laws of the land deemed waiting as long as possible, and then being assisted with suicide, a Criminal Code offence. I can't imagine having to walk that journey.      

Whatever your personal feelings about assisted suicide, I hope you will listen to both parts of Jan and Nagui's story. Answers to such complex problems as this are never black and white nor easy to find but listening deeply and responding compassionately to the lived experience of those most closely affected is surely the best place to start.

(You can listen to Nagui's Choice by clicking on the link above and then clicking on the white words, Listen to the Latest Audio. You can also access Dr Brian's blog post on the topic - Nagui's Choice: Dr Brian's Take ).