A Poem to Ponder ...

Poetry is language 

at its most distilled

and most powerful.

Rita Dove

Hi Everyone!

As regular readers will know, I'm a great lover of poems and blessings. This week, I was gifted with a new-to-me poem by a fellow traveller on an online retreat. It's quickly become a blessing to me and to others in my life. It comes from a book by Dawna Markova called, I Will Not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion. Today, I re-gift it to you to ponder as spring and new beginnings unfold:

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life

I will not die an unlived life.

 

I will not live in fear

of falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days, 

to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid,

more accessible;

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing,

a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance,

to live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom,

and that which came to me as blossom,

goes on as fruit.

Read through the poem a few times, if you have the time. What message does it whisper to you? What phrase or phrases shimmer? Is there a next step or new beginning for your life hidden within these words?  

If you would like to know the story of how this short poem has made a difference in the world, find a copy of Dawna's small book, make a comfortable drink and settle in for a surprising tale. Warmly reviewed by the likes of medical educator and reformer, Dr Rachel Remen, and author and master educator, Parker J Palmer, this book, as Rachel says, "... can remind you of who you are and heal your life." 

Beginning Again ...

In the middle of the journey of... life

I found myself astray in a dark wood

where the straight road had been lost sight of.

Dante Alighieri

The Divine Comedy

Hello, Everyone!

The experience of Compassion Fatigue (CF) is one that leads many of us to recognize that we have gone "astray in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost sight of".  It is an experience of lostness, anxiety, confusion and bewilderment. How did I get here? When did the caring person inside me begin to disappear? And, much more importantly, how do I find my way back to that caring self and begin again? 

Beginning again requires that we first take sufficient time to heal CF and then learn new and healthier ways of being and doing. Healing is different from curing. It is about gradually becoming more whole in ourselves rather than necessarily eliminating the signs of CF completely and forever. (Most helping professionals and family caregivers will ebb and flow through the early stages of CF as long as we continue working with people who are traumatized or suffering. The trick is building resilience before hand and then recognizing CF early in its progression so we can do something about it.) 

Beginning again is about re-membering our caring selves in a new way that promotes, not giving from the depths of our wells, but giving only from the overflow. It means transforming our accumulated primary and secondary traumatic stress and learning to reduce our trauma exposure. It means discovering our personal CF early warning signs so we can forestall further forays into "the dark wood". It means intentionally building skills and developing our physical, emotional, spiritual, social and professional lives so we have access to "something more" to ground and sustain us.

We need awareness, knowledge, courage and determination to make these kinds of life changes, one baby step at a time. I hope Celtic philosopher, John O'Donohue's, Blessing for A New Beginning, from To Bless the Space Between Us, will encourage you to take the first steps:

  

Blessing for a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness grow inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the grey promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plentitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is one with your life's desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

As I leave for a welcome long weekend visit to Vancouver Island, I wish each of you a very Happy Easter  (or whatever Spring observance you enjoy) and all the hopeful brightness of new beginnings!

And, if you are feeling ready to "begin again", do please join us for the Caring On Empty: Creative Tools for Compassion Fatigue Resilience for Helping Professionals workshop May 6th on Granville Island in Vancouver, BC.

Just email Jan at caregiverwellness@shaw.ca for a brochure. (And bring a colleague or friend!) The registration deadline is extended to April 22.

The Work As Self Care ...

Hi everyone!

Many of us think of self care as something we do away from our caring work, in order to refresh and refuel. However, whether we're helpers in a professional workplace or family caregivers whose work lies within the walls of our own homes, there are things we can do while at work to rejuvenate and enhance our resilience.

Sometimes self care at work can be as simple as pausing for a few moments in the day to take some deep mindful breaths, eat a healthy snack, drink some water, go to the bathroom, wash our face and hands, rest quietly while gazing out the window at the natural world, connect deeply with a co-worker or go for a run up the stairs.

But how many of us think of the work, itself, as a means of self care, purpose and meaning? Many of us can forget that we chose the work we do because, at its best, it was so energizing and life-giving. As Rachel Remen, physician, healer and author of, Kitchen Table Wisdom, says:

No question that the medical system (in the USA) is seriously broken, but Medicine itself is not. Even on the most stressful and pressured of days there are moments in which we can experience something else, moments in which we connect to people on a very intimate level and make a difference to them and they to us. Times when, despite everything, we experience compassion, give and receive love, ease suffering and fear and are profoundly trusted. Instances when the greatness and courage of an ordinary person is suddenly revealed and we know ourselves to be in the presence of a hero. Or we recognize that we ourselves are heroes. No question that these experiences are brief, but they happen daily. And often they are life-giving - like taking single breathes of pure oxygen in the middle of a deep-water dive. There is a deep river of meaning that runs through the work of every health professional. It can sustain us in difficult times.

Rachel's wisdom does not apply only to those engaged in healthcare. The same could be said of first responders bringing people to safety, teachers reaching out to children who've been abused or neglected, clergy comforting the bereaved, therapists helping to heal emotional wounds, interpreters easing communication in a new land or family caregivers coordinating and providing care for loved ones.

If we can be mindful of the golden moments of human connection and compassion that brought us to our work in the first instance, and that are still available to nourish our hearts and souls today, we will both build our compassion fatigue resilience and bring a greater degree of humanity and caring to those we serve.

I think John O'Donohue understood this when he wrote his Blessing For Work:


May the light of your soul bless your work
with love and warmth of heart.

May you see in what you do the beauty of your soul.

May the sacredness of your work bring light and renewal
to those who work with you
and to those who see and receive your work.

May your work never exhaust you.

May it release wellsprings of refreshment,
inspiration, and excitement.

May you never become lost in bland absences.

May the day never burden.

May dawn find hope in your heart,
approaching your new day with dreams,
possibilities, and promises.

May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.

May you go into the night blessed,
sheltered and protected.

May your soul calm, console and renew you.