A New Study: Mindfulness for Mothers of Severely Disabled Children ...

Mindfulness is like that - it is a miracle which can call 
back in a flash our dispersed mind and restore it

to wholeness

so that we can live each minute of life.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Are you caring for a child with severe disabilities? Family caregiving can be hard work at the best of times but caregiving for a child or adult child with a severe disability takes an extra toll. Mothers of children with autism or other neurodevelopmental disabilities report high levels of stress, burnout, compassion fatigue, chronic sorrow, depression, and anxiety, all of which can have an impact on your wellness and resilience and on the way you care for your child.

A new study in the journal Pediatrics suggests that both mindfulness and positive psychology techniques can help to reduce your stress. Researcher, Elisabeth Dykens, and her colleagues randomly assigned 243 mothers to a six-week group treatment program employing either mindfulness techniques like deep-belly breathing or to a group using positive psychology exercises focused on building virtues like gratitude and patience. Trained mentors who also had children with disabilities led the weekly hour-and-a-half sessions. The mothers completed mental health assessments before, during and up to six months after the study. 

Before the study, 85% of the mothers reported significant levels of stress. Forty-one percent suffered from anxiety disorders and forty-eight percent were diagnosed as clinically depressed. (Chronic sorrow was not assessed perhaps altering the number seen as depressed.) 

In the mindfulness group, mentors used the Mindfulness-Bassed Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn to teach breathing awareness, movement and meditation techniques. The specific techniques taught included breathing exercises, self-observation without self-judgement, loving-kindness meditation and Qigong (an ancient Chinese health care system integrating gentle movement, breathing techniques and focused attention) among others.

The positive psychology group learned techniques for dealing with feelings of guilt, worry, and pessimism. The techniques included exercises for identifying character strengths and fostering gratitude, forgiveness, grace and optimism.

Both treatments worked. Participants reported fewer feelings of anxiety and depression and fewer unhealthy parent-child interactions. Mothers slept better and experienced greater life satisfaction during and after the six week groups.  Some continued to improve over time.

Some differences were also noted in the effectiveness of the two groups. The mindfulness group showed more immediate improvement in anxiety, depression and insomnia, possibly due to the immediacy of the autonomic nervous system shift from fight-flight-freeze response to relaxation response. The positive psychology group, on the other hand, took longer to show results but the improvements in life satisfaction and depression were greater.

The study concluded that because both groups saw significant improvement, programs integrating both meditation and positive psychology should be developed.

I think this study provides evidence of a hopeful and practical means of calming the nervous systems of family caregivers, building resilience and improving quality of life. But many of you will look at it and say, "So, who has time to fit this into my already crowded day?!" And you will be right. Few caregivers can "find" the time for new practices like these. It will be more a matter of "carving out" time - giving up something else in order to make room, doing two things at once (eg meditating for the 20 minutes it takes to cook your potatoes), or asking a friend to be with your child as you practice.) However you do it, I think the benefits of adding practices like these to your life might just be worth a try...

*** Caveat:

Please remember that there are those who should not practice mindfulness meditation without first being assessed by their family physician or therapist. They include those who:

• have a history of mental illness or posttraumatic stress
• with thoughts of suicide
• misuse alcohol or other drugs
• are in the first year of addiction recovery
• are troubled by trauma triggers
• have difficulty maintaining a strong sense of self when quiet or alone.

Mindfulness...

I took a picture of this lovely rose two summers ago while in the garden of Rochester Cathedral in England. I had walked back and forth along the garden path several times that morning but hadn't noticed the single blossom's deep apricot hue or it's perfect state of openness. As I settled on a wooden bench nearby I, an avid rose gardener, wondered at my lack of awareness, my "mindlessness".

It is so easy, with the busy pace we set, to run through life without noticing things that matter. Have you ever arrived home without recollecting the last few miles of your journey? Have you missed out on a Sunday dinner conversation while preoccupied with thoughts of work on Monday? Have you been oblivious to the sweet weight of a toddler on your lap as you've watched the hockey game?

Mindlessness is like living on automatic pilot. You may get things done but you miss out on important information - information that gives life richness or that keeps you safe or well. How often have you noticed the beginning of a headache and wondered, "Where did that come from? When did my neck muscles start feeling tense? When did that tension turn into pain? What happened to make me tense in the first place?" You may not find the answers to these questions if you haven't been present and aware in the moment. If you haven't been mindful.

Mindfulness means paying attention to things as they actually are in any given moment. (Not how they were in the past and not how they might be in the future.) And it means doing so non-judgmentally.

You can learn to be more mindful by practicing mindfulness meditation. You can ground yourself in the present by sitting quietly and noticing the sensations of your breath moving in and out. You might want to notice that the breath going into your nostrils is cold and that the breath coming out is warm. Or you might want to focus on the movement of your abdomen, just below your belly button, noticing its rise and fall with each breath. If your thoughts disrupt your focus on your breath, gently return your attention to your nostrils or your belly without judging your thoughts or yourself for having them.

Practice this meditation for a few minutes, morning and night, and gradually increase your time until you are meditating for 20 minutes a day. It will take lots of practice to develop this new skill, so don't give up for at least 8 weeks. And don't expect to experience instant peace. Our minds are notorious for increasing their chatter when we try to quiet them. Just notice when you've gone off on a thinking tangent and return, without judgment, to your breathing. Over time, you will develop a more mindful, centered, and de-stressed life.

If you're interested in learning more about mindfulness meditation, try Jon Kabat-Zin's books, Full Catastrophe Living or Wherever You Go, There You Are or listen to his meditation CD's, Guided Mindfulness Meditation Series 1, 2 & 3. You might also like to try the meditations of Thich Nhat Hanh, the Buddhist priest and founder of Plum Village in France. (www.plumvillage.org or www.learnoutloud.com).